Responding to common BWS misconceptions

Q: I completely understand all your complaints about BWS and those who have it. However, if men did not feel they are entitled to beautiful women, the problem would not exist.

This blog aims to teach men how to obtain a physically beautiful woman, without suffering the consequences of dating someone with a “swollen head.” You point out that women with BWS believe they are entitled to more than average-looking women, and you seek to remedy this problem so that average men can obtain them without investing as much. But what entitles these men to a physically flawless woman? In our culture, women's beauty is commodified. We live in a capitalistic society. Demand drives the price for her affections up. Why should she give it away for less than it is worth on the (sexual) free market, just because a man is not rich/handsome/perfect enough to make her want to settle down? I'm not endorsing her behavior, I'm just saying it is male attention and male expectations that create and perpetuate this syndrome, as you readily point out. She holds all the cards because you men insist that her beauty makes her the ultimate mate, regardless of her other qualities. What I'm saying is, why don't men just stop it?

A: Most men do eventually wise up, but for every man who realizes that beautiful women with BWS aren't worth pursuing, ten more men are eager to chase them. After all, the next beautiful woman could be perfectly normal, nice, intelligent, and interesting. She could care about others and not think her beauty confers special rights.

Some beautiful women are indeed wonderful people, but the BWSers don't come with a BWS warning sign on her foreheads. Most people are naturally optimistic and enter relationships thinking the potential mate is a good person with desirable characteristics. In short, men give beautiful women a chance to prove they're good—or not. If they're not and we move on, more men rush to date the beauty, who sees the influx of eager men as proof of her greatness and proof that there is nothing wrong with her—hence no need to change.

I don't know any man who feels entitled to a beautiful woman. Most men want one, but desiring one and feeling entitled to one are entirely different.

You said, “This blog aims to teach men how to obtain a physically beautiful woman.” Wrong! My take-home message is something entirely different.

Next, BWS women are rarely “physically flawless,” as you suggested. Beauty flaws are so prevalent that almost everyone has one or more, yet men generally overlook them and focus on the positives, contrary to what women's magazines perennially claim in their desire to amplify women's anxiety about their appearance so they rush to buy the next issue filled with beauty tips written by people who generally don't know how to truly enhance appearance, or desirability in a more general sense.

You also asked, “Why should she give it away for less than it's worth on the (sexual) free market, just because a man is not rich/handsome/perfect enough to make her want to settle down?”

No woman should settle for less than what she is worth, but many BWS women have such overblown conceptions of their worth that they cannot realistically assess their net value: considering their pluses and minuses. They overestimate the importance of their beauty and underestimate their flaws—or are blind to them—like an accountant who gives a falsely exaggerated estimation of a company's net worth by considering only its assets, not liabilities.

As I pointed out on another page, the ones most victimized by the beautiful woman syndrome aren't the men they date (they usually wise up and find someone else), but the BWSers themselves. I've heard from aging beauties who had (past tense) BWS who belatedly realized how they had wasted their lives and left a needless trail of destruction in their wake. Some BWS women are highly intelligent and self-aware, and with enough reflection, might modify their outlook in time so they don't become another aged beauty filled with regret decades from now. Those women are the ones I hope to help with this site. I can't help dumbbells, but I can help the bright ones.

BWS math

Remember < (less than) and > (greater than) symbols in math? Here's a simple comparison that is easy to understand:

Beautiful woman with BWS < Beautiful woman without BWS

Having the beautiful woman syndrome does not make a gorgeous woman better or more desirable; it makes her a worse choice who is less desirable. Too many men think that hard-to-get babes are worth the extra effort, but BWSers (almost all of whom play hard-to-get) diminish their value by having the beautiful woman syndrome.

Interested in another aspect of beauty? Read about why beautiful women are less likely to end up as ER patients.

Narcissism: the secret sauce of self-delusion

Glamorous ESPN reporter exemplifies BWS nastiness

“Most beautiful dumb girls think they are smart and get away with it, because other people, on the whole, aren't much smarter.”
— Louise Brooks
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